the importance of being alone

how much we want to be with people
is rivaled only

by how much we want to be with ourselves

to ignore what is happening

and understand that someone else can't change

you

or me
or myself

to give time for thought
and contemplation

and to fuse with solitude

you begin to understand more about
others

just to hear

i feed it into my ears
to my head

just to feel again

you have done it to

and closed your eyes and just breathed

and wanted to stay like that
forever

reality is not that place to be


unless you can find that place in someone else

which we are all trying to do

to hear someone else

to feed it to our ears
and just to hear the love

knowing where you'll be

simple joys

are here again

only to be banished

by the demons in the night

soon you will see what i see and

why it always tries to overtake what i

say and what i do in the deep

of the night i realize what

i truly feel in life not

just the shallow

nothing

the bellycrawlers

i read what you see
and disagree withing my bloated mind

the false happiness elightens me
into a state of notcaring

running around
i scream
trying to block the thoughts from my mind

why can't it be like life
why can't it work out
why is it happening to me


just like everyone else

pshaw

i am above
soaring free
without you
without me

with a slight smile
i greet you
and just am
in the blue

listening to the world
and their songs
and believing
in a new hope


that is you

until

just a quick snatch
i long for some justification
that somewhat of what i do is real

and belongs

i pretend for the new world

sailing away into the sun
blinding away reality


and truth
with a backwards glance

ponderings

without being tracked...i am
without being known...i am

only a chance to stumble
to tell what's within


no trace of what i left behind
except for the whisperings of you

no great legacy is mine to behold
except for the whisperings of you


i am not held among the greats
nor will i ever be

you are not mine to take
nor will you ever be



yet i frolic on in the name of life
still happy in the sense of the word


yet not complete

in a large but small way

the failures of life mingle in the pond of death. and that is why i write.


why i type.


why i still care about you.

you don't know it, but this is all for you.

in your oblivious state. i write. aboutwhatmatters.



i




feel

the poundinginmyhead

i will collapse
the weight is pressing down upon me

through eternity




pressure allows thought to fly free
squeezed though subconscious

into blue

obsession

i am obsessed
over you

over me

over us
and what could have not been

what sadness overtakes my soul

as i peer into your eyes
i know anything else is a substitute


and i weep

amazingly enough

how can you fly through life without a care?

how can you not feel
listen to the music
stop being shallow

peck away

where is your heart?
why don't you hear?

as you tell me you know
i disagree

content-ish?

so what is happy?
can anyone tell me?

different for all
same for us

state of being,state of mind....life in general
is '

joy

';

with sorrow