mockery

faces
with piercing eyes
and rounded noses
and a quick
small grin
shared with me

disbelief
in the fact
that one year
could change
everything

familar glances
from you alone
reassured me
the soon enough
it would be alright

so many
sights and sounds
yet yearning dreadfully
for the simplicity
of before

tomorrow
to start the same
without the comfort of you
would chance to be
insanity

crash

it broke
i jumped
with a bang
believing
hoping that
enough of
you would
be there to
catch the
falling
broken
and torn
shards of
me from
this explosion
and regret of
today if
only yours
was the face
at the
bottom

on a whim

so tangible

driving into the night
whispers of the summer
apart

you came back
unannounced

distinctive in your
amry garb
i couldn't believe it was you
you came back subdued

it was a win win

the subtle hints dropped
the house
the balance
made me feel unique

now she doesn't understand
how much you mean
to me

the friendly fog
and the safe smell
of that free
airfreshener

i would leave again now

next time

frustrating
waiting games

that next moment
the time of sheer
bliss

it's always about
him
isn't it?

what a sham
this false sense of
something

knowing that
nothing
exists
but
us

do you know it?

how temporary
this is

shame in the
waiting game

the weight
i place
is unfathomable
and invisible

i'm sorry

sinking away

so soft
velvet falls
surrounding

unlikely
in the wisps of
words

feeling like the sky

taunted in my solitude
comforted in my peace

knowing today
is a good day
for you

listening to
the deep
and fragile tendrils
of dusk

when did it
become so
dark

andante

the sweet breeze caught in my hair
blowing across the night and scent of
yesterday searching for the right moment

recalling the right moments
that revealed the soothing lilt that
emerged from unexpectations of this

feeling the heat and sultry swish
of your words against mine having the same
effect as a drink filling and emptying my soul

moving and stretching into and comfort
and condolence under the layers of fabric and
dusk ignoring the possibility of dawn

all i can see in this separate time and place
is the subtle hues of the explosion that surrounds
what pierced me from the look that is you

distance-

it's the downfall of me.
where we are now
if
you haunt my dreams
how you don't
know
what has been
given to you

future-

only a shred of hope
past-

that touch from you
i can feel your arms around
me

it was so surreal

did that happen too?

p.s.

for the
record

my name is rachel

broken silence

when something
speaks
directly
to you

maybe it is for you.

the doubt drifting around
in this sense of
anonymous
speech

you know little about
me

yet you know more
than most

unending wordplay
to fit the
puzzle pieces in
place

i'm here
ready to
fly

and find a
way
a chance

to connect
the paths that
have become ours.

i'm here.

vertigo

the stammering
obviousness
of it all

or so it seems

have i read
the signs
interpreted what i see
correctly

if so
my course is
made

you have thrown your
caution
to the breeze

what if
no

i heard about
you
today of all things