a different kind of pain

it's been far too long
the only thought i'm allowed to have

my breath doesn't come
my heart doesn't beat

for i'm anticipating
waiting

i'm on edge
tensed into coils

perched on the end
my heart clenches in agony

wrapped in torture
i can feel the whisp of you

tantalizing enough
to tempt me beyond measure

so close we've seemed
and to be cliche
so far away

what a different kind of pain

to my dearest

hello love

the winter snow
has seemed to caused my
freckles to reappear
and my heritage
to shine through
hope you don't mind.

in more recent
happenings the keys
on my lovely elderly piano
have received much emotion
of late.

fielding my downfalls
and hopes
all at once
can prove a daunting
task.

even for an
inanimate object.

for you see
we,
i said we
have finally begun
to make
one another
happy
and quite pleased.

and now
i have come to see
how it is
for him to depend on
me.

and the wonderment
of it all
is how very much
i need him.

god, do i need him.

this winter snow
is a lovely fresh
beginning.

love me