on the train to edinburgh

playing cards
on the train
a novelty
for an American

the lulling
two-toned sound
of each stop
along the way

hearts and spades

the cadence in your voice
mingling
with the shuffling snap of cards
landscapes made of colors
until now
unseen

hope

like trying on sandals
while winter lingers

it's a hopefulness
that cannot be shaken

coaxing the future
into existence
now

footnotes

I do not miss you
for I sleep near you always
held tight in my dreams

knickknack

it's difficult to not feel a snatch of nostalgia
when I hold
our old
memories in my hands

but maybe I don't miss you anymore

when I occupy a space you've never breathed into
you're delegated to knickknacks
keeping cracks and crevices together

maybe I miss your glue
your tenacious way of holding me tight

but maybe I don't miss you anymore

when I'm holding it together myself
white calendar blocks where your name previously resided

maybe I miss
what I can't recreate
as much as I redecorate
every little pink pill I take at night
for easy dreams
since I can't creep next door into yours