mind games

i was in one place
but i was more fully in another
when i closed my eyes
and ignored the droning of fans
hands folded in grace
next to my sister and brother
my body slipped into disguise
my mind whirling with untold plans

i was not that far
images of green hills and trees
crunching gravel roads
and doors that swing shut
crisp nights of stars
an eye stung by a bee
my other sister and a toad
the memories became too much

i was begging to be there
i longed to be home
when i felt physical pain
induced only by thoughts
almost more than i could bear
begging relief to come
balm given when i return again
eyes closed, distraught.