knickknack

it's difficult to not feel a snatch of nostalgia
when I hold
our old
memories in my hands

but maybe I don't miss you anymore

when I occupy a space you've never breathed into
you're delegated to knickknacks
keeping cracks and crevices together

maybe I miss your glue
your tenacious way of holding me tight

but maybe I don't miss you anymore

when I'm holding it together myself
white calendar blocks where your name previously resided

maybe I miss
what I can't recreate
as much as I redecorate
every little pink pill I take at night
for easy dreams
since I can't creep next door into yours