vulnerable

of course
i had to be talked into it
there was no way
i was going to be like
those girls
as much as i professed to accept
i would not
mimic their tears

they shared and cried
i shared and stared
i'm sure they saw the challenge in my eyes

because i am invincible

but then they asked about him
no no no
not about him
anyone but him
that one time i did something
i didn't plan
about how he convinced me
to abandon caution

and how thing weren't always perfect
no no no
don't ask about that
don't you dare challenge him
don't you dare challenge me

but they knew
that there
i was vulnerable
and i felt shame
because he is out of my control
and i didn't know it
until it was too late
and i was far away
and i was left exposed

you made me sit there
and feel the burn in my throat
and the anxiety in my chest
a red dragon
that is always threatening
to exhume my rage

underneath
my deep disappointment
my sadness
for learning i was not invincible
i was not enough
and i was silly

see i don't cry
but i'm vulnerable too